CELEBRATING LIVE EARTH

While the Live Earth concert featuring Al Gore is saving the earth from global warming this weekend, I'm going to do my part. First off, I'm going to go through the house and unscrew my fluorescent curly-cue bulbs and replace them for the day with energy devouring Edison bulbs. I also plan to drive my gas guzzling SUV Jeep at least 50 miles more than I normally do on weekends. I plan to smoke a couple of cigars to put a little extra CO2 and Carbon Monoxide into the atmosphere. I'm going to leave the TV on all day, tuned to the Live Earth concert, although, alas, I won't be there to watch it.All the while I'll be relaxed with a mixed cold drink, watching the ice cubes melt while I reflect on the snows of Kilamanjaro and the South Pole icepack. Things that YOU can do to celebrate the Live Earth concert include insisting on paper when the supermarket clerk bags your groceries, lighting your barbecue with lots of lighter fluid, and finally, eat lots of beans so that you contribute the earth's methane levels. Remember, anything that gives you pleasure is probably bad for the earth! Viva La Live Earth!